Highlands Fellowship Family Restored Transcript
Well, hey everybody and welcome to Highlands Fellowship. It's so good to be with you wherever you happen to be joining us from. I know that our schedules and our rhythms of life have been thrown into a bit of turmoil with all the winter weather. And I pray that rather than letting that throw you into a slump that we would use that to really use it as an opportunity to change our patterns to be more like Jesus. And so I pray that for you as well.
If you happen to be new with us, I want to say a big welcome to each and every one of you. So make yourself feel right at home because as we like to say here, Highlands is home. And so welcome home. Today we're starting a new message series called Love Restored that we'll be in for the next few weeks. And throughout this series, we're going to look at different relationships that we have in life.
And we each have these relationships. It's interesting that studies reveal that relationships are actually a key factor in what brings joy into a person's life. And one of the things that I desire to do is to help you truly have joy in life. And I strongly believe that in order to have healthy, thriving relationships, we have to first understand the depths of God's love for us. So let's shake off the complacency in our relationship with God and each other.
And let's take a deeper look into the life-giving love that God has for each and every one of us and how we can actually apply that love to the relationships in our lives. You know, doing life together with Jesus and with other believers is such a huge part of our lives. And our lives are shaped by the people that we spend the most time with. And for most of us, we've spent the most time with our families. And when it comes to relationships, family is the first and the most impactful relationship that you'll have.
Your family plays a huge role in how you believe and the direction you'll go in life. So, as we begin this new series, I want to kick it off with a message about the family because it's my desire that we see families restored in our churches and that we see families restored in our communities. The word family is defined as a group of two or more persons related by birth, marriage, or adoption who live together or a group of people who are related. And so there are basically two kinds of families. There's blood family, which means that you have ancestors in common, but then there's also a spiritual family.
Now, when a man and a woman get married, they're not from the same blood, but God joins them together in a covenant relationship. So the spirit of God, when we're married, he makes us into a family. And also, and I want you to listen, as followers of Jesus, we're all family because we have the blood of Jesus Christ in common. So, we're brothers and sisters in Christ. But even if you have a blood family, you still need a spiritual family because we all need the body of Christ, which is the family of God.
Now, as we talk about family, I think it's very important for us to recognize that we all have come from these families that have some level of dysfunction. Even the families that you would look at from a distance and you would say, "Well, they have a perfect family. They don't even know what dysfunction is." Let me tell you, nobody's perfect. And there are no perfect families out there. There are those who may have more dysfunction than others and some may be more visible, but every family has it.
Every family has dysfunction. And really the main issue is that families are built on a faulty set of values. They're built on the wrong value system. And this could happen for a number of reasons. This could stem from deep hurt or pain in someone's life.
This could stem from the constant pull of the world and our culture to follow what it tells us is right. But no matter where the value system originated or developed, we've got to recognize it. So, here's what the vast majority of families that I see that are struggling have as a value system. It would be first money and then social status second and family third. And here's their thinking.
If we have enough money and enough social status, then we can give our kids whatever they need. And here's what happens. If you're not intentional about this, this will happen, is that you will adopt the same value system for your family without ever even thinking about it. So, what I would like to see and what I'm praying for in our church and in our communities is that I would love to see families restored. And it's possible and it matters.
And I believe it will also bring about more joy in your life. You know, I know that Megan and I have been very intentional about the value system that we have set in place for our family. And here it is. It's very, very simple. It's God and family.
God and family. And if we have God's blessing for our lives and for our family, we will be able to give our kids whatever they need. Now, I want to make something very clear, okay? We are not perfect, Megan and I. We don't have a perfect marriage and we don't have a perfect family, but I do believe that our children are growing up in an environment where they are taught godly biblical principles and they are loved unconditionally.
And I really don't want my children to have to recover from the way that we raised them because, you know, having the right value system really does have a generational effect. So I want to read a scripture to you that really helps us get our attention. When we really look at it, we really think about it. And so it's Matthew 7:24-27, says this, "Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, the wind blew and beat against that house.
Yet it did not fall because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." And as we see this passage of scripture, there are a few promises that we see from these verses. And the first thing that Jesus promises here is that storms are inevitable. Jesus tells us that serious difficulties will come in our lives.
There's going to be trouble that comes into our lives. We live in a world of economic and international instability. We live in a world that's full of sin and has relational instability. And Jesus said, I'm just telling you, you're going to build a house and there are going to be trouble. There's going to be trouble that comes against that house.
There are going to be all these things, the wind, the rain, all these things that are going to come on that house. And Jesus tells us the truth. He didn't set us up for disappointment. He tells us the truth. And so here's the thing.
Wise builders build for the worst case scenario. Your house is only as strong as the foundation that it's been built on. And if you're only building your foundation for the good times, you're building it to fail. And Jesus says, you better build your life, you better build the foundation of your life as strong as you possibly can because trouble is going to come. It's going to come.
The second thing that Jesus promises is this. Obedience produces stability. When we're obedient to God's word, you will have stability and you'll have security in your life. Anyone who hears these words of mine and does them, not the hearers, but the doers of his word, will be like a wise person who built their life on the rock. They're going to stand regardless of what comes.
It's not that storms won't come, but the way that they handle them and the way that they stand on the way out of them, it's different. So, this has been our testimony and I pray that it will be yours as well. The third thing is this, that's the third thing that he promises us, and that is that disobedience leads to collapse. Any person who doesn't build their life on a firm foundation on the rock is destined to fail. He said in Matthew 7:26-27, "But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.
The rain came down, the streams rose, the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." I've seen a lot of people experience the absolute heartache of failure in their marriage and in their family. And look, we're not better than anybody else, but I'm just saying these are the words of Jesus. And he doesn't sugarcoat it here. He tells us that these things are going to happen. And there are a couple reasons why people would decide to build their lives on sand.
First of all, it's more comfortable, especially in the world that we're living in today. We're not living in a non-biblical world. We are living in an anti-biblical world. And if you want to be comfortable in this world, you just reject the word of God. But following Jesus isn't about comfort.
It's about being true to our savior who gave his life as a sacrifice for us. The second thing is this, the sand's more popular, right? The sand is just more popular. If you go to the beach, the people are on the sand. They're not on the rocks, right?
And so the popular place to be today is not on the word of God. And then the third thing about why people build on sand is it's conformable. It conforms to you. When you go and you lay down on sand and you get up, it looks like you. When you lay down on a rock and you get up, you look like it.
And Jesus said, "I want you to conform to me. I'm not conforming to you." And listen, I don't believe in a God that's so small that I can manipulate him. I believe in a God big enough and powerful enough that I have to worship him. I have to. And so a lot of people are building their lives on sand and it's causing families to fail.
It's causing generational failure. It's causing generational pain and generational dysfunction. And I don't know about you, but I don't want that for my kids. I don't want that for my grandkids. I don't want to have a failed value system that fails my family the same way that it's failed so many other families in the past.
So Meg and I, we want to build a family that lasts and we want to build a family that God will bless. And so let me give you four values or four factors on how to build a family that will last and that God will bless. So number one is this. Surrender your life and your family to the lordship of Jesus and his word. Now what I want to do is I want to talk specifically to believers for just a moment.
And I'm aware that there may be some of you who are not Christians yet. And I pray that you'll make that decision today to give your heart and life over to Jesus Christ, but most of you here are followers of Jesus. So here's what I'm saying. I know that you're going to heaven. I know that you love Jesus, but is Jesus the Lord of your life and the Lord of your family?
In other words, let me say this. Megan and I, we made a decision when we got married that the Bible would be the authority in our marriage and in our family. It's the final authority. We're not going to make a decision based on our opinion. And what I found is that God doesn't bless decisions that are not consistent with his word.
So, we made the decision that the word of God would be the final authority for our home. We've also decided that every time we have a significant decision to make that we're going to make it together and in prayer by consulting God. Always together and always in prayer. See, a lot of the things that you're praying about in your life are not in the Bible in the way that we're seeing them. In other words, the Bible says a lot about a lot of things, but it doesn't tell you which car to buy.
It doesn't tell you which house to buy. It doesn't tell you where and how to educate your kids outside of always be teaching them God's word. So, in many of the decisions that we're making, there are things that we have to pray about. And we really have to get to the heart and the mind of God in the decisions that we're making about all of these things. And if you will let the Lord guide you through your life in making decisions, I believe that he will bless you incredibly.
If you don't, I don't care what your value system is. It isn't going to work out well. It isn't going to work out until Jesus is Lord of your life. Look at what Isaiah 53:6 says. "We all like sheep have gone astray.
Each of us has turned to our own way. And the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all." The reason Jesus died was to forgive us of our sins. And the sin of independence is a big part of that. It says we all like sheep have gone astray. And one of the most common analogies in the Bible about us that God uses is that we're sheep.
And that is not a compliment. Sheep are pitiful animals. They really are. They're cute, but they are pitiful. They can't navigate.
They can't carry supplies or work the fields. They can't defend themselves. They have to have a shepherd. And so do we. When God looks at us trying to manage our own lives, he's just sitting there thinking, "They're sheep.
They're sheep. There's sheep in the midst of wolves. They don't even stand a chance." If we would just come to Jesus and say, "Lord, I want you to be my shepherd. And every single day, every day, I'm going to trust you for protection and for direction and provision." Our lives would be so, so, so much better. You see, I'm the father of four kids, and I love being a dad.
And it would break my heart if my children didn't need me. God, he loves being your father. He loves being my father. And when you don't trust him with your life, you're denying him the opportunity to do what he loves the most. You would never dream how much he loves you.
You would never dream how much he wants to be a part of your life. And I want to share with you a passage of scripture that explains very well what a life or family surrendered to Jesus who is our good shepherd looks like. And we've just spent some significant time on this in our spiritual formation course over the last few weeks. It's Psalm 23:1-6. And I love the way it reads where it says this, "The Lord is my shepherd.
I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." That's the life of a person led by Jesus Christ because the Lord is my shepherd, I don't want.
One of my favorite parts in this is "you restore my soul." God can and will restore your soul. God can and will restore your family. God can and will restore the love that's in your heart. And all the damage that people have done and maybe for you, the damage generational influences have done, God can heal it. And when you choose Jesus to be your shepherd every day, when you say, "My value system is God," it means that no matter what comes your way, it's going to be all right.
It's going to be all right. The second factor that causes families to last is this. Trust God to take care of you as a loving father. So, we're going to look in the book of Matthew chapter 6 and see Jesus speaking about how if we're not careful, we allow other masters to slide in and we end up putting our trust and our faith in different masters other than God. So, Matthew 6:24-32 says this, "No one can serve two masters.
Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money." Or some translations say, "You cannot serve both God and mammon." And what mammon is referring to is wealth, money, or property. And it seems like we fall into this trap quite often. We feel like it promises us security. It promises us identity.
It promises us purpose. But the reality is that it can all be gone in just an instant. We looked at this passage last week, but I want to look at it again. Jesus says, you've got to choose. Verse 25, "Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear.
Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air. They do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow? They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all of his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you?
You of little faith. So do not worry saying, 'What shall we eat or what shall we drink or what shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all of these things, and your heavenly father knows that you need them." You know, I talked a little bit earlier about the value system of the majority of families in our culture. How it's money, social status, and family. Jesus says, "You've got to choose. You're either going to serve God or you're going to serve wealth, money, or property." But I want you to know that God knows you and he loves you and he will care for you if you trust him with your life.
First John chapter 2:15-17 says this, "Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the father is not in them. For everything in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, comes not from the father, but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever." We've heard Jesus say it and now John. And you can have the things of the world or you can have a relationship with God the Father, but you can't have both.
So for so many people today, the problem they have with the concept of father is that they had a bad one. So when Jesus is talking about God being a father, it doesn't sound that good to so many people. And you may think, well, I'm sure that he's a good God, but he doesn't know me personally. You may have even heard John 3:16 and you believe that he said that God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son because he loves us, right? But you still find yourself trusting the ideas of this world for your security.
If I just get this thing or if I just get this amount of money, then all my problems are going to go away. But when you're living a life of disobedience, it's really like rowing upstream. You're always going against the current and everything is really, really, really hard. But when you start living in obedience to what God calls you to do, you flip the canoe around and you go with the current. The current is now with you.
And now what was impossible seems possible, and things that had never happened are happening in your family and in your life that never happened before because God is at work in your life and in the life of your family. And I believe that one of the most important things that could ever happen to you is when you get to the point when you realize that God doesn't just love the world, but he loves you and he loves your family. It's absolutely mind-blowing when you truly come to the realization that God who controls all things, who controls the entire universe, knows you and loves you on a personal level. He's taking care of you. He's providing for you.
And it's at that point that you begin to truly meet your heavenly father. If you do not have a trusting relationship with God as your father, you will have the wrong relationship with the world. If you love the world, the love of the father, it's not in you. And you've got to choose. Are you going to trust God as your father to provide for you?
Or are you going to trust the world's value system? Both in Matthew and also in First John, we see that we're given a choice. And if you choose to follow the world, the result of that will be generational pain. Megan and I decided before we got married that we were going to trust God as our father. We don't live in fear.
Our faith is not in the economy of man, but it's in the economy of God. And he'll never take his eye off of you. He loves you more than you will ever understand. And he loves being a dad. And when you pray, listen, Jesus said, "He knows everything that you need." He knows everything that you need.
Why are you so worried? He knows it all. All you've got to do is ask. He's your father and he's right there waiting patiently for you to come to him. And the third way that we build a lasting family is this.
Consider the generational impact of your choices and live intentionally. We must be intentional about the way we live our lives and about what legacy we leave. There's so much wisdom in the book of Proverbs and it seems like every time I read it, something new seems to stand out to me. So let's look at Proverbs 13:22 where it says this, "A good person leaves an inheritance for their children's children, but a sinner's wealth is stored up for the righteous." That means that this is intentional. You have to sit down and you have to think about it.
What are we teaching our children? What are we really leaving for them or with them? What are our children going to have to recover from because we were not intentional? Are we going to give our children and grandchildren an advantage? And maybe it's not through money, not through social status, but through God's blessing.
How are we going to raise our kids? And then the fourth factor for building a family that will last is this. Root your family in a church that faithfully teaches God's word and nurtures life-giving relationships. This is the picture of what we need to do as followers of Jesus Christ is to continue to teach our children to live in relationship with Jesus Christ. And the body of Christ, which is the church, plays a vital role in the development of our children.
Hebrews 10:24-25 says this, "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another. And all the more as you see the day approaching." And I want you to hear me. You may believe this or you may not, but we are living in the last days. We are living in the end times. And the day of Jesus's return is quickly approaching.
And as followers of Jesus, we've got to get together even more to do exactly what the scripture teaches us so that we can win other people to Jesus Christ before it's too late. And I hope that we will all recommit ourselves to getting together as believers. And I'll say this, almost all of our best friends have come out of church. And I would argue that the best friends that you'll ever meet in your entire life, you're going to meet them in church. And they will spur you on toward love and good deeds that I believe will actually help people experience life with Jesus.
Some of you, you're here today and you've come out of generation after generation of Christians and that's so great. Some of you are here and you've come out of families that have had generation after generation of people who have lived with the wrong value system. You may even be the first one in your family to take a stand and to say, "I'm not going to live by this value system any longer. That doesn't serve our family well. I'm going to follow God's plan and I'm going to live the way that he teaches." Either way, lead your families toward Jesus and you'll be blessed for generations to come.
Would you pray with me today? "God, we thank you for what you teach us in your word about the family. We thank you for how you value the family and how you show us so much about how we're to raise our children and how we're to be good stewards of the time that we have with our kids and with our family. My prayer today is that we would not take those relationships for granted any longer. That we would understand that we have a responsibility as followers of Jesus Christ to invest heavily into our families so that we can see them come to know the Lord and we can see each of our family members walking in relationship with you each and every day.
And as you teach us in your word, it doesn't mean that troubles won't come. It doesn't mean that these storms of life won't come. Storms are inevitable. But when the storms hit, when these things come on us and it seems like they're absolutely devastating, it doesn't rock our world too much because we know who's in control. And we know that you never waste a hurt.
We know that when we go through storms, we're going to learn something. We're going to mature. We're going to develop. We're going to grow. And we can use them as a testimony to help other people who are walking through the same things.
God, help us to stay faithful, following after you, giving up control, handing it over to you, and allowing you to lead and to guide us as our good shepherd. And that as you lead, we will follow. So God, if there's somebody here today who wants to make a change in their lives and realizes that everything that they've been doing throughout the course of their life, it just isn't working. They're living by the wrong set of values. But today, they understand the value system that you put in place and your word, your scripture teaches us the truth.
And it could change our lives forever. Not just change our lives, but it can make us into a new person. And if you want to become a new person today, you can pray this prayer. You can say, 'God, I admit that I'm a sinner and that I've fallen short of your glorious standard and that my sin needs to be punished. But you've already taken the punishment for my sins on the cross.
And you've given me grace, a free gift that I don't deserve. And I want to accept that grace today. I want to make you Lord and Savior of my life, and I want to follow you with everything in me.' If that's you today, you believe that in your heart, confess it with your mouth, be baptized, follow after Jesus with everything you've got, and lead your family in the way that God teaches us in his word. And I believe that God will bless it. God, we love you.
We praise you. We thank you for the promises in your word and for the direction that you give us. It's in the name of Jesus we pray." And everybody said, "Amen."