The Book of James: Avoiding Arguments
James 4:1–10 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. 4 You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? 6 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” 7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (NIV)
James 4:1 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? (NIV)
THE ROOT OF CONFLICT: A HEART AT WAR
Three Desires That Often Cause Conflict
1. The Desire to Have More
James 4:2a You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. (NIV)
2. The Desire to Feel Good
James 4:3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. (NIV)
3. The Desire to Be First
Proverbs 13:10a Where there is strife, there is pride. (NIV)
Why Are These Desires Never Satisfied?
James 4:2b-3a You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives… (NIV)
Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. (NIV)
James 4:6b “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” (NIV)
THE PATH TO PEACE IS HUMILITY
James 4:6b “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” (NIV)
James 4:10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (NIV)
Four Steps to Reducing Conflict
1. Surrender to God's Leadership
James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. (NIV)
Colossians 3:15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. (NIV)
2. Stand Firm Against the Enemy
James 4:7b Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (NIV)
2 Corinthians 2:11 In order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes. (NIV)
3. Draw Near to God
James 4:8a Come near to God and he will come near to you. (NIV)
Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. (NIV)
4. Own Your Part and Seek Forgiveness
James 4:8b Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. (NIV)
James 4:9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. (NIV)
Philippians 2:3-5 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. 5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus. (NIV)