- Well, hey everybody, man, it's so good to be back with you, had a wonderful trip to Israel with a great group and I appreciate pastor Mark who took care of things for me the last couple of weeks. Hey, today is Mother's Day I wanna welcome all of you here, online TV, all in person locations, thanks so much for being with us on this special day. Happy Mother's Day. Today I wanna speak to you, I got several things I wanna share with you and first of all, I just wanna say that this is really not mine, I got this from a pastor years and years ago and he got it from another pastor, I'm not sure who originally came up with it, but I began to institute these things, I'm gonna share with you in my family several years ago and it's been just a game changer for us, so I wanna share these things with you. Here's what we're gonna talk about today. How God wants us to honor our parents. So not only am we gonna talk to moms, I'm gonna talk to dads as well, okay? So let's look at this commandment, Ephesians 6:2 and 3 scripture says, "Honor, your father and mother." This is the first of the 10 commandments that ends with a promise. So not every commandment had a promise, this one does and this is the promise. If you honor your father and mother, you'll live a long life full of blessing. Now that is a promise from God. And God says, if you honor your father and mother, you're gonna be blessed. Now here's the question. Why in the world did God give a command like this, right? I mean, why would he give a command like this? Well, lemme give you a little bonus things. Let me give you three things before I get into the real text of the message I wanna share with you. But here's three reasons God gave this commandment. Here's the first one. There are no perfect parents. Your parents are flawed. Their parents were flawed. If you're a parent, you're flawed. If you have kids, they're gonna be flawed too. So it gives us no excuse to not honor the position of parent even if the person is flawed, there are no perfect parents, all you parents, what? Amen, right? Here's the second reason God would give a command like this. You would've not existed without them, Well, duh, God chose them to be the tools to bring you into the world, to create you. And whether they're good, bad or indifferent parents is honestly, it's irrelevant. The fact is, God use them and you exist because of them. Here's third reason God gave this command. God chose your parents to make you special. In Psalm 139:13, it says this, I love this verse. "God knit me together in my mother's womb." In other words, God was there at the point of your conception, and he was intimately involved in the development of your body, your mind, your personality, while you were still inside your mother's womb and notice what the scripture says. "And he recorded every day of my life before I was born." God had a plan for every day of your life before you were born. That's the reason abortion short circuits the will of God. Now I've told you this many, many times, you're not an accident. There are accidental parents, right? But there are no accidental babies. There are no accidental children. Your parents may have not planned you, but I promise you this, God planned you. You say, well, why did God give me the parents he gave me? Well, I'll tell you why. Because they had just the exact DNA in order to create you. If you've had any other parents, you wouldn't be you. So God was more interested in creating you than he was in their parenting skills. Your parents may have been good parents, bad parents, maybe you had terrible parents, maybe you had absentee parents, maybe they even hurt you and we're gonna talk about that right at the very end. But the bottom line is you couldn't have existed without their DNA, and God allowed that to happen because he had a plan and he was more interested in you than he was in their parenting skills. Now, when we think about this on Mother's Day, obviously we're not all moms, right? There are people who wanna be moms and it hasn't happened yet. There are people whose circumstances have just not allowed it. We're not all moms, but here's the thing. We all have a mom. We all had a mom, right? I mean, every one of us had a mom, and this is why the Bible says, "that we are to honor our mothers, "and we are to honor our fathers." So that was bonus. Hadn't been with you in two weeks. Now I wanna get into what I wanna share with you. This is Mother's Day. We're gonna honor moms today and think about this. There are all kinds of moms, right? I mean, there are biological moms, there are step moms, there are single moms, there are adoptive moms. We know there's things, foster moms, spiritual mentor moms, there's lots and lots of moms. So today I wanna honor all these different kinds of moms. Here's a key question, how do I honor my mom for the rest of my life? This is a question I want all of you to consider. How do I honor my mother for the rest of my life? And here's what I've learned, this is what I learned from these other guys who help me. At each stage of your life, your relationship to your mother and your father changes, right? I mean, you have a relationship as a child. We were were all children at one time, then you have a relationship as a teenager, as a young adult. And then we have a relationship to our parents as adults when we actually get to be an adult, so we have these adult to adult relationship. And as we begin to study this, the Bible says some really creative, neat things about each of these three stages in our life. I want us to go over that because I want you to learn these principles too. So let me give you a few suggestions on how to honor our parents at each of these stages. Number one, here's the first one, as a child, all of you that have kids, as a child, I honor my mother and father by obeying them. Children are to obey parents. Now that's kinda obvious, the Bible says this. But sometimes we still struggle with these kinds of things. Basically, if you're a child, you do what your parents ask. I follow the instructions, I mind their directions. I do it willingly. Scripture says to do it cheerfully, do it immediately and that honors God by honoring parents. Notice what Paul says in Ephesians 6:1, "Children obey your parents, "this is the right thing to do "because God has placed them in authority over you." Now, one of the most important life skills you have to learn in life. And if you don't, your life is gonna be miserable and you're not gonna be successful in life is how to respond and relate to the authority in your life that's over you. And one of the things we have to teach our kids growing up is the difference between the position and the person. The person may be a jerk, but you're to honor the position and honor the authority that's there. The Bible says that God has ordained three authorities on earth. There's the authority of the home, it's the parents. There's the authority in the church, it's the elders or the directors. There's the authority in government. And without those, it's gonna be a mess in all three of those situations. They each have different roles and different spheres of influence. But a kid who grows up thinking, nobody is ever gonna tell me what to do. You're not gonna hold down a job for very long, because as you know, a lot of times you're gonna be asked to do things you don't wanna do because somebody is in authority over you, you have a boss, you have an employer and they ask you to do it. So I'll honor my mom and dad by obeying them when I'm a child. Now, what happens in the second stage when I become a teenager, maybe a young adult, this is what the scripture says. The Bible says, "As a young adult, I honor my parents in two ways." Here's the first way. Number one, by respecting them. Okay, I respect, as a teenager, I respect my parents. Young adult, I respect my parents. Couple of verses, Old Testament, Leviticus 19:3 scripture says this, "Each of you must respect "his mother and father." Pretty clear. And then maybe you're just a New Testament person. We'll look at what Hebrews 12:9 says, "We respect our own parents for training "and not spoiling us." Respect doesn't mean that you don't see your parents' weaknesses, okay? That's not what respect is. In fact, what I think happens as you grow older, your parents' weaknesses become extremely obvious and you realize that of parents are flawed human beings, just like you are. And by the time you get to be a teenager, you see all their flaws, right? I mean, in fact, we got five kids and it seems like every time one of my kids got to the teenagers here, all they saw was the parents flaws, they were pointing out my flaws, Brenda's flaws, all the time, but here's the deal, God says, respect them in spite of their flaws. Now, what does it mean to respect parents? Well, I think it's a couple things. It means you accept your parents and you forgive them. Accepting and forgiving is part of honoring and respecting, accepting your parents. The good, the bad, realizing God gave them to you. They're your parents and you accept them. You can say, "Well, preacher, why should I accept my flawed parents?" I didn't have a choice in this matter. Well, hey, think about neither did they, unless you were adopted and then you're one of the few special ones who were actually chosen to be their child and you get special privilege as adopted kid, right? But if you were just born, they didn't get a choice to what they were getting either. I mean, right? I mean, think about that. So respect means that we accept them and respect means we forgive them. You need to forgive your parents for their weaknesses and their faults. Why? Because you're gonna need forgiveness too in your life. You're not perfect either. So we honor our parents as we grow into adulthood, by respecting them, we don't disrespect them. We don't talk disrespectfully to our parents. They're your mother and they're your father. We honor them. The second way we honor them is by listening to them. The Bible says a lot about listening to your parents. Teenagers, you need to catch this. Notice what Proverbs 13:1 says, "Intelligent children, listen to their parents." All my kids in here, you get this. Foolish children do their own thing. Listen, guys, there will never be a time in your life that you can be disrespectful of your parents even if they're not living the kind of life you wanna follow, used to do in the old days when I first had to do a lot of marriage counseling and I realized that even parents at times whose lives, they didn't have it all together. Sometimes they were personal disasters and yet they still had the right initiatives to raise their kids. They still knew, they still had the wisdom to know what their kids needed even if they in their own lives were struggling. They still knew what was best for their kids. So I just wanna encourage you, even though your parents may not be perfect parents, they're not gonna be and they got flaws still often, God will give them wisdom for you on how you need to live your life. I mean, even a broke clock is right two times a day, right? So just because mom and dad didn't have it all together doesn't mean that they don't occasionally have a bit of wisdom that you need to listen to. You say, "Mom, when you get it together, "then I'll listen to your advice." Well, that's not gonna happen because we're not ever gonna get it together and you're not gonna get it together either. So this is what the scripture says in Proverbs 23:22, "Listen to your father's advice "and don't despise your mother's experience." Here's what I want you to know. God gave you your parents for a purpose and they are to help you become the person that he wants you to be. When I was a teenager and a young adult, I had great parents and both my mom and my dad were cautious to me. And I learned eventually to listen to them. They were flawed, but they mentored me. Notice the scripture here in Proverbs 6, look at verse 20, says, "Do what your father tells you "and never forget what your mother teaches you." It's good advice right there. Keep their words with you always locked in in your heart. Their instructions will lead you, protect you and advise you. Their instructions are like a lamp. In other words, mom and dad will guide you through the periods of darkness in your life. And their corrections can teach you how to live. So as a young adult, I'm to honor my parents by respecting them and by listening to them. But most of all, I think the vast majority of us that are listening to me today, we're probably in this third stage and you're actually a grown adult. So what does the Bible say about our adult to adult relationships with our parents, particularly as they age and as they get older? Well, the scripture has two different things that the Bible teaches. Here's the first one, as an adult I honor my parents by appreciating them. I appreciate my parents, notice here in Proverbs 23:22, "When your mother is old, show her your appreciation." So you might say, what should I appreciate in my parents? Well, there's thousand things you could appreciate, but let me give you a couple here on Mother's Day. We don't have time for a bunch, but let me give you a couple, two things you can appreciate in your parents no matter who they are, how they are, whatever one, first one, appreciate their efforts. Now, I want you to think about this. You should appreciate the efforts of your parents. Parenting is difficult, right? I mean it's time consuming. Parenting is demanding. Would anybody like to give a testimony about this? If you're a parent, you could, you know this, have you ever thought how much easier your parents' life would've been if they hadn't had you, have you ever thought about that? I mean, really? It would've been a whole lot easier. I think of all the painful things I put my mom through. I mean, I could go on and on about crazy things that I did as a child and as a teenager and as a young adult, I got three speeding tickets, one a month in 90 days when I was a senior in high school, that put a few wrinkles and gray hair in mom. As a senior in college, I ditched my entire chemistry degree and pre-med track to go into ministry. And that was one of the most disheartening calls I could ever remember my mom and dad receive cause they thought I was gonna, make something out of my life. And I said, "After four years of your sacrifice, "I think God is calling me into ministry." That put a few gray hairs and wrinkles in their life. I bought a motorcycle, it's one of the only arguments my mom and I ever had against her wishes and I remember every time I'd speed out the driveway, she would be stressed out and think I was gonna die on every motorcycle ride I had. Finally, when I got married, Brenda said, "Sell the things." So I did. But all these different things we did growing up that stressed out our parents. When was the last time you actually thanked your parents for putting up with you, who else would have, right? All the things you did, when you were a snotty nose, little brat, and they gave you food, a place to sleep, a place of safety. We need to appreciate our parents effort. Here's second thing. We have to appreciate their sacrifice. A lot of times we forget this, but we need to appreciate the sacrifice our parents made. Here's something else that seems like kids don't understand, parenting is expensive, right? I mean, surely we give a testimony about how much it costs to raise kids. It is very expensive. Matter of fact, while I was in Israel, we still had internet, I Googled this and in today's economy, it's probably not with all inflation, do you know how much it takes to raise a kid? These are the last estimates from zero to 18 years of age. This is on the average 272,000 bucks. That's what they say it takes, pretty amazing, isn't it? And that doesn't include when some of them come back home, that cost is incalculable. It's expensive to raise kids. So when couples choose to have a kid, a child, they're making an unselfish decision, and they have decided to spend money on you that they could have on themselves. The truth is I've actually talked to couples who have decided not to have kids because nice things are more important to them. It's a material decision and they made that decision. Their career was more important than having kids. They wanted nice things, more so than having kids. It's an unselfish decision to be a parent, because you're gonna put up with a lot of grief. It's gonna cost you a lot of money. I mean, think about this. What could your parents have afforded if they hadn't the had you? Probably a nicer house, for sure, a nicer car, they could have traveled more exotic vacations, all kinds of things, right? But instead they chose to have you. And money they could have spent on themselves. They spent on your clothes and your food, and your school, and your braces, and your doctor visits, and everything else. I heard a great definition of a parent the other day. I thought this was perfect. You, right? So here's what a parent is. A parent is someone who has photos, where they used to have money, ain't that true? It is an unselfish decision. Notice what the scripture says in Proverbs 23. Look at verse 25. I love this verse. Give your parents joy. Do you do that? Are you giving your mom joy? May she who gave you birth be happy. Now, sadly in Western culture, this is the culture in which we live in the states. It's the only culture on the globe. If you think about it, that we do not intentionally respect our elders. It's just not something we do in Western culture, in every other culture, whether it's Asian, Middle Eastern, African culture, here's the deal, the older you get, the more respected you are. The older you get, the more people value your wisdom and treasure your wisdom. It's only in Western culture that we put the greatest emphasis on the youngest people. And I think sometimes where is that taking our culture? Not exactly at times in wise direction. So I just wanna pause to say this to every one of you. If your parents are still living today, they have an intense need, an intense need to know that they actually made an impact on your life. And you need to express appreciation to them on a regular basis. You need to affirm them on a regular basis. You say, well, how do I affirm my parents, my age parents, the simplest way, just stay in touch. Anytime you make a call, you're honoring your father and mother. Anytime you send a card, a gift, anytime that you show up, you're honoring mom and dad. Anytime that you talk to them about the details of your life, you're honoring your parents. So as an adult, I honor my parents first by appreciating them, second way I honor my parents as an adult is by providing for them, all right, by providing for them. As time passes, the roles reverse, as your parents age, it's your responsibility to help take care of them. It's a natural and normal way. They took care of you, and later in your life, you're to take care of them. And many of you've already moved into this stage. Matter of fact, some of you are what I call in the sandwich generation, where you still got kids that are dependent on you, and yet you've got age parents that are dependent on you and you're sort of sandwiched right in the middle. What about elderly women who their husband has died, or they're on their own and they have no children to provide for them who's supposed to take care of the widows, the elderly women? Well, the scripture is extremely clear. It's us. It's the church that is to provide for all of the elderly widowed who are alone. It's real clear. Notice here, in first Timothy 5 is what the Bible says, "In your church, treat the older women "as you would your own mother, "and treat the younger women as your own sisters." The Bible says "The church should care for any widow "who has no one else to care for her "but if she has children" catch this, "Or grandchildren, their first responsibility "is to show godliness at home. "Not at work, not at church, "but your first responsibility is "to show godliness at home "and repay their parents by taking care of them. "This is something that pleases God." I just wanna say in the culture in which we live, it is so important that our father, he put this in the big 10, right up there with don't murder and don't commit adultery. He says, "Take care, honor, your mom and dad." It's part of it. Even on the cross, Jesus, he did this. He took care of his aged mother. Have you ever thought about it? The savior of the world and Jesus is actually dying for the sins of all man kind, nothing is more important than what Jesus is doing on the cross. And while he was on the cross, Jesus only said seven things, right? But one of those seven had to do with caring for his mother and being sure that she was taken care of after he was gone. It's important to God. In fact, the Bible doesn't mention any words about this. Look at this next verse. In 1 Timothy look at chapter five, verse eight, it says, "If anyone doesn't take care of his own family, "especially his immediate family' "he has denied the Christian faith and "is worse than unbeliever." That's pretty strong words right there. The fact is you honor God when you honor the parents that he used to create you. Now, it doesn't take a lot of money to honor your mom and dad. You know what it takes. It just takes a lot of love. They don't need material stuff any longer. That doesn't mean a heel of beans to them, but love is free. And it's your choice to decide if you're gonna honor them with your love and your time or not. Are you a giving mom, dad, any of your time today? Oh, you say "I'm so busy, man. "I want to, but this is my schedule. "I've got my own kids." Hey, that just doesn't cut it with the scripture. Listen, they don't want you to buy them expensive things, their needs aren't great in old age, they just want some of your attention. They just want some of your love. And let me just close by saying this to all of you that are here today, because I know in a crowd this size on Mother's Day, that there are some of you, maybe many of you, and you had parents who actually hurt you deeply. I mean, you had some real of parents, and I just wanna say, I'm sorry about that. Maybe they hurt you physically, in a lot of the cases, we know it actually starts with alcohol and then your parents become irrational when they're under the influence and they can hurt you emotionally. And we also know in a crowd this size we've had some of you that have been hurt sexually by your parents. Well, here's why the scripture says, the Bible promises severe judgment on child abuse and child neglect. Look at this, what Jesus said, it's one of the strongest things Jesus ever said, is what he said. "It would be better for you to have a millstone "tied around your neck, dropped into the ocean "than hurt a little child." It's that serious. So what does God expect you to do, if you were hurt by your parents? He's not asking you to deny it, okay? He's not asking you to repress it. Matter of fact, he's not asking you to excuse it. God doesn't want you to fake it. It's what God wants. He wants you to face it, so you can get on with your life. Some of you, without a doubt in a crowd the size we have today on Mother's Day, you're actually carrying just a large amount of unfinished business with a mom or a dad, maybe both. And if you're carrying it, you're still reacting to that hurt, and you're probably, this is what normally happens. You're probably taking out the hurt that you've never faced from a mom or dad who hurts you on your current spouse, or on your own kids because we know this cycle repeats itself. It's not fair. It's not their fault, but because you haven't dealt with it, if you don't talk it out to God or take it out to some counselor, you know what's gonna happen? You're gonna take it out on the people that love you the most. And if you're still angry at a parent over something they did years ago, something they said, I just wanna tell you, that's dumb. All right, that's dumb because you're still letting them control you today. And some of them have died and yet you're still allowing them to control you from the grave. You're saying I'll prove it to them. I'll show them. Here's the deal, guys. You gotta release that anger. You just gotta let it go. If not, you're eventually gonna allow it to eat you up and it will ruin your relationships. Anger is a killer in relationships. Stop running, make peace of possible with your parents. Face the issues, forge a new relationship. If you don't, you're gonna pass it on to the next generation. You've only gotta stop the cycle once, it breaks it. And the truth we know will set you free. Only God knows how much you've been hurt, but only God has the power to heal that hurt. He can. And it starts by being willing to face it, than to fake it. Some of you have been abandoned by a mom or you been abandoned by a dad or maybe both, and again, I hate that for you. In your case, you get special privileges from God. Maybe you've never thought about this, but I wanna share this scripture with you in God's kingdom, if you've been abandoned, my bomb and dad, he gives you special privilege. Notice what says in Psalm 27, 10, "My father and my mother may abandon me, "but the Lord will take care of me." Isn't that good? You have a Heavenly Father that will never use you. He will never abuse you. He will never lose you. He'll never leave you. Never depart from you, never abandon you. And the good thing about our Heavenly Father is you can turn to him in those moments of excruciating pain in your life, and he will heal you, he'll help you. So how do we honor our parents on this Mother's Day? As a child we obey them, as a teenager we respect them and we listen to them, and as an adult, we appreciate them, and we provide for them. And I challenge you to apply those principles in your family as well. Hey, let's pray. God, thank you so much for Mother's Day, for our moms, and Lord I just pray that today's message would speak to the hearts of every person here. What a privilege that we know that if we've come from mom and dad, the sacrifices they've made and Lord help us to appreciate how they've invested in us. Lord, help us to honor our moms and dads. And we know that when we do that, you promise a life of blessing. If you're here today and you've been hurt by a parent, how about facing that hurt once and for all, stop letting them control you. Maybe you're here today and mom and dad abandoned you, you felt like you're on your own, you're carrying this bitter grudge. I would just say, surrender your life to the one who created you. The God who will never abuse you, or use you, or leave you. And I would just challenge you. Do you know Jesus as your personal Lord and savior today? If not, on this Mother's Day, would you just ask and invite Jesus into your life, man, it's the greatest decision you'll ever make, and it's a simple decision. You just basically say, "Jesus, I believe that you died on the cross for me. "I'm a sinner. "I've made mistakes. "I'm not perfect. "I have lots of flaws, "and God you paid for my sin on the cross, "and today I invite you into my life. "I ask you to save me from my sin, "forgive me, now I surrender my life to you." And hey, if you made that decision online, would you just click that little raised hand button so we can celebrate with you, at one of our in-person locations, would you grab somebody on your way out and let them know you made a decision to trust Christ? That can be an awesome, awesome thing for you. We wanna help you and encourage you the days ahead, Lord, we love you. Thank you so much for loving us. We ask all these things in Jesus name, amen.
- To those hearing this today, for those who we hear this in the future, we celebrate all women who are daughters of the king and ask for spiritual, physical, and emotional comfort, for wisdom, peace, gratitude and joy, as mothering is not for the faint of heart. We have real warriors in our midst. To the moms who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains, to those who have lived through driving test, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood, to those who have warm and close relationships with your children, and to those who have disappointment, heartache, and distance with your children. We see you. We appreciate you. We celebrate with you and we sit with you. To the moms in waiting and those battling infertility, we wait with you, as you long to hold a little one in your arms. To the mom that suffered miscarriage and infant loss, we grieve with you and ask the Lord to bind up the wound of brokenheartedness. To those who have lost children, we mourn alongside you. To the post aborted mamas, this day holds daunting emotions, we pray that you know the forgiveness and the healing of Jesus. To the moms who placed your child for adoption, we honor you for your giving heart for the love you gave to allow another mother to parent. To the ladies who became mamas through adoption and foster care, thank you for standing in the gap and welcoming into your family those who needed a stable and loving home. For those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children, we thank you for being faithful in this season. Lord, we ask you to give grace and faithfulness, comfort and strength to these moms and for joy to come in the morning.
- To the single mom, for all the sacrifices you make for your children, your children will have love to give to the world because of every drop of love you've poured into them. To the step moms who have welcomed your spouse's children with open arms and love them as your very own, we pray for wisdom, peace, and strength for your blended family. To the moms raising a child with special needs, as you give, and give, and give, to ensure your child is healthy, physically, spiritually, and emotionally, your sacrifice is a picture of his grace. For these moms we ask for strength, grace and financial needs to be met. To the stay at home moms and the working moms, because of all you do for your children and your family, you are raising mountain movers and world changers. We ask for blessings, strength, peace, and joy.
- To those who gave birth this year, to those who are pregnant with new life, both the expected and surprise, we celebrate with you and ask for health for you and your baby. We pray for strength, provision and peace upon you as you step into this new chapter. To those looking at an empty nest, we support you and pray for you during this bittersweet and exciting new journey. To our spiritual moms, those who give their time, prayer, guidance and love to the lives of children, you did not birth, you are invaluable. To our grandmothers, those who share a legacy of loving God and loving people first. To your children, and now to your grandchildren, may joy be lavished upon you as you continue to care for generation after generation. We ask for blessings to bound for those who love of so many, to those of us who have lost our moms, we grieve with you. Sit beside you seeking to comfort you in your loss. We pray for your broken heart. Lord we ask that you pour out peace, that passes all understanding in your time of grief.
- As you fulfill the mini-roles of womanhood, mother, daughter, sister, friend, wife, grandmother, colleague, and girlfriend, we see you and we pray for you. We thank you for your dedication to the Lord and to your family. Happy Mother's Day.